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A Single Moment(2009)


After all these years, I still sit and wonder, "What does Christmas really mean to me?"


We never know when our time is done, and God speaks and says our job is finished here on earth, and He wants us to come home to Him. To those of our friends that have left us this year, you will be missed dearly. You will always hold a special place in our hearts.


I remember Christmas’ with presents and toys. I remember Christmas’ with Santa, believing in Santa, not believing in Santa, and then believing once again. Is it because "through a child's eyes' we always see things so different?


We saw many people this year, again with many different requests. My thoughts today is what does Christmas mean to them? Will it always be a time to miss someone they loved so much and held onto so tightly, but God still told them to let go? Will it be a time of praises, that they survived the war and are alive today, but may be slightly broken..in body, but are thankful still since they aren’t broken in spirit? Or have they lost their faith because of what has happened to them? Will it be a time of prayer to quietly ask God for the calm - to be fearless for what lies ahead, for the kidney still needed, or the surgeries yet to come. Sometimes it isn’t what we want at all, but what God wants and only God knows why.


I remember Christmas snowflakes – not snow, because "hello – it’s south Texas!" I remember the cold, cold Decembers to the hottest of Christmas mornings. I’ve had sad memories of Christmas to the wonderful exciting ones and all I keep dear to my heart. I’ve known hard times at a Christmas with my children, having almost nothing – even from Santa and the good times where there was way too much under the tree! I am with excited anticipation when Santa comes and the children are so excited they can’t remember what they wanted for Christmas morning. And as I finally lay my head on my pillow for the night, and sigh, it’s then the kids are awake and run with anticipation to find out what Santa actually left them this year.


I feel Christmas should be around us every day of the year. Everything seems brighter this time of year. The special thank you’s, the smiles, the laughter, the moments, the MAGIC. We rush around and shop and spend, and all those little worries that were so important yesterday, disappear on Christmas with the family, watching the children with their presents, with each other, with us.


I’ve worried. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. I’ve made mistakes too. I’ve had the “Silent Night” of Christmas’s, to the chaotic Christmas mornings. What does it all mean to me now? I miss my grandparents. I really miss my dad. There are others in my family I miss as well. I know one day I will miss my mom, but for now, I don’t want to think of that day. I thank God daily for my friends, family and my children around me today.


As we get a little older, we take each day given to us as a special blessing. A "THANK YOU" to God for giving us just one more chance, just one more day. But maybe, we shouldn’t wait until we are a little older, maybe we should be thankful now for each day we have….because we really never know.


So after all this, what does Christmas really mean to me? It’s just like our life should be. It’s family. It’s friends. It’s laughter and noise, peace and quiet, a warm hug, a gentle touch. It’s smile and a tear. It’s a cherished moment. It’s a moment I should never take for granted.


~~Bmcleroy CLAUS 2009


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